There's a New Asshole in Town
I may be an asshole. But I'm not a crook.
A write-in campaign for President of the United States. Zero dollars. Zero donors. Zero bullshit.
The Promise
This campaign accepts no donations. None. Not from you, not from corporations, not from PACs. I won't owe anyone anything.
Why I'm Running
I'm not running to win. Let's be honest about that upfront.
I'm running to prove a point: the system is rigged, and millions of Americans are ready for something different.
Both parties have failed you. They've run up $34 trillion in debt. They've sent your kids to die in endless wars. They've let corporations write the laws. They've turned elections into auctions.
And they've made it nearly impossible for anyone outside their duopoly to even appear on a ballot.
In some states, if you write my name in, they'll throw your vote in the garbage. Literally. Not counted. Not reported. Thrown away.
That's not democracy. That's a managed choice between two flavors of the same failure.
One of them is going to win anyway.
So you might as well vote for something you actually believe in.
They'll tell you a vote for me is a "wasted vote." But if you live in a solid red or solid blue state, your vote for the major parties is already meaningless — the outcome is predetermined.
At least make your vote mean something.
Who I Am
I have lived a full life. Not all of it was honorable.
I've done things I'm not proud of. Some I remember. Some I probably don't. I've hurt people. I've made mistakes that can't be undone. I won't catalog them. I won't name names. Other people were part of my life, and their privacy matters more than your curiosity.
I'm not wanted for anything. I'm not hiding from warrants. I've never committed violence. I've never held public office, so I've never betrayed a public trust.
If someone from my past wants to tell their story, that's their right. I won't attack them.
I'm not running because I'm a good person. I'm running because I believe in good ideas — and because the "good people" running this country have driven it into the ground.
I'm asking for forgiveness. I don't expect it. I probably don't deserve it.
If you can't find it in your heart to forgive me, don't vote for me. I mean that. Vote for someone else or don't vote at all. I'd rather have no votes than votes from people who felt they had to hold their nose.
But if you can look past the man and see the mission — if you believe these ideas are worth fighting for even if the messenger is flawed — then I'm asking for your vote.
I may be an asshole. But I'm not a crook.
That's all I have to say about my past. Let's talk about the future.
You should also know: I have a YouTube channel called Wildman Fugazi. Offensive song parodies. Years of gaming content. It's all out there, unfiltered.
I'm not deleting it. I'm not apologizing for it. It's me.
If that's a problem, don't vote for me.
The Platform
These aren't vague promises. These are specific, detailed positions — agree or disagree, at least you know where I stand.
How to Vote for Me
I'm running as a write-in candidate. Here's how it works:
- Check your state's rules — Some states count all write-ins. Some require candidates to register. Some throw write-ins away entirely.
- Go vote on Election Day — Or vote early, or absentee. Just vote.
- Find the write-in line — Usually at the bottom of the presidential section.
- Write my name clearly — [Candidate name will be here]
- Tell someone — They won't report our numbers fairly. We need to track it ourselves.
⚠️ Important: Some States Throw Away Write-In Votes
In approximately 7 states (Nevada, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Hawaii), write-in votes for president are not counted at all. If you live in one of these states, your vote for me will be thrown in the garbage. They won't even tell you.
This is part of what we're fighting against. The fact that states can legally throw away your vote is an outrage — and proof the system is rigged to protect the two-party duopoly.
Vote for the Right One
I'm not asking for your money. I'm not asking you to knock on doors. I'm not asking you to put a sign in your yard.
I'm asking for one thing: your vote.
If these ideas resonate — if you're tired of choosing between two crooks — write my name on the ballot.
That's it. That's the whole campaign.
I may be an asshole. But I'm not a crook.
Vote for the right one.